AI as Catalyst not Crutch: Three Principles to Live By

Artificial Intelligence (AI) challenges us to consider that some things are worth thinking about, while others are not.

I want to suggest that if we choose to use AI to replace the necessary effort of human learning, it will make us dumber and co-dependent. And if we allow it to replace reaching out to and cultivating social connection, it will make us lonelier. But if we recognize its limitations--and the deep benefits of careful thinking and learning by ourselves and with others--AI can be a worthy appliance alongside the coffee maker and washing machine.

New technologies have always prompted us to ask, "What is not worth doing anymore?" Because of past innovations, many in our world have decided it's not worth washing laundry by hand, riding a horse when a car is available, or hand-writing a letter when an email will suffice. In short, we outsourced physical labor to appliances.

Now, AI has emerged as a cognitive appliance, forcing an important new question: "What is not worth thinking about?" And of course the corollary: "What is worth thinking about?" As we delegate cognition to AI, with its significant energy and environmental costs, we must be ruthlessly clear about what we gain and what we might lose. It would be wildly negligent to use a technology in a way that isolates and numbs us while it simultaneously increases the rate at which we are degrading the planet. It could be justifiable if use it to get smarter, closer and cleaner.

It would be wildly negligent to use a technology in a way that isolates and numbs us while it simultaneously increases the rate at which we are degrading the planet. It could be justifiable if use it to get smarter, closer and cleaner.

The answer, I believe, lies in the distinction between what we need to know, what we need to learn, and simply who we need in our lives.

What is worth NOT thinking about?

Some tasks are low-priority and don't require learning: they are the cognitive equivalent of doing laundry by hand. It’s not worth my mental energy to draft a standard operating procedure from scratch, write a boilerplate job description, basic code, or an answer to a low-priority email.

These are tasks AI can perform accurately and reliably, freeing up cognitive space for higher-value work. The problem is that since AI is easy to use, we can slip into using it in ways that weaken our ability to reach the summit. As John Maxwell has said, "Everything worthwhile is uphill." AI will not change that and to think it otherwise is dangerous, like considering gravity to be optional.

Discretion and self-control, those old human companions, will be critical here. Knowing how and when to appropriately use technology--especially the most alluring and magical--will be the master skill for grown-ups and one to teach the children. We have done this before. I know people who wash certain pieces of clothing by hand because of their importance or fragility. To throw them into the washing machine would be to ruin what was precious.

What IS worth thinking about?

I am the main cook in our house. Most nights, figuring out what to make for dinner is a low-priority task. I enjoy cooking but I’m not trying to build a new skill; I’m trying to deliver a healthy meal efficiently. Using AI to generate a recipe is a good use of this cognitive appliance since I'm not aiming to building anything within myself. But if I were a professional chef, my relationship with the activity would change entirely. I would need to think deeply about the ingredients, techniques, and presentation because my goal would be to build my skills, knowledge, and creativity. Using AI as a substitute for my own thinking would stand in the way of my professional development.

We can capture this in a principle: it is worth thinking about things related to the skills, knowledge and values aligned with our personal and professional ambitions. Something is worth thinking about if thinking about it is what we want to be known for.

A friend told me she would never use AI for her creative writing. It is her craft (she has several published books) and it is one of things she wants to be known for. Yet, she uses AI constantly for planning her teaching and for personal tasks. She has judged what is worth her deepest thought--and what is not. I was fascinated that she was adamant about never using AI for her writing, while it slipped seamlessly into her daily routine.

Durable Learning Takes Effort Which AI Cannot Remove

For eight years, I taught at the business school at Penn State University. Since I was an educator for this period of my career, I became fascinated by the science of learning. I read several books on the topic. One fundamental truth from neuroscience is that true learning requires effort: we retain information only after retrieving it from our memory multiple times, in different contexts. We have to struggle, and even forget, for knowledge to become permanent.

I liked to summarize this profound insight into learning for my classes in this way: we have to forget to learn. "Huh?" their faces would say. Yes, this is literally how it works: we have to forget information, then recall it, then forget it and recall it again, in an unending cycle in order for learning to be what the scientists calls "durable": the knowledge moves from short to long-term memory and is quicker to recover and apply appropriately.

AI can be a tool in this process, providing a quiz to aid retrieval practice. But it cannot do the learning for me. Learning is an internal act of retrieval and application. It is always, and necessarily, an unpleasant, difficult process, and the value is in the struggle itself. In fact, across several studies, the greater the effort to retrieve information, the more durable the learning. Everything worthwhile is uphill and AI won't change that.

AI can be a tool in this process; it could quiz me to aid retrieval practice. But it cannot do the learning for me. Learning is an internal act of retrieval and application.

We can capture this in another principle: something is worth thinking about if it is worth learning about.

For those of us who have a clear sense of who we are, what we value, and what our craft is, the line is relatively easy to draw. We don’t outsource the thinking that is core to our identity, our growth, and our unique contribution to the world.

Perhaps this is why AI presents such a profound challenge for the young. They don't yet have a fixed profession or a fully formed sense of who they are. They are still discovering what their craft is. For them, the question of what is worth thinking about is not just a practical one—it’s the central question of their own development. And it’s one no machine can answer for them.

Community Intelligence > Artificial Intelligence

Finally, "thinking" is not just an individual activity, it is a team sport--or it can be. Let's go back to our cooking example. I look in the fridge and I have a cabbage, chicken, half an onion and maybe some cans of who-knows-what in the little pantry. Consider two options: I can put the previous sentence into an AI chat and ask an algorithm for recipe suggestions or I could put it into a group chat and ask friends and family. Let's consider the direct and indirect outcomes.

The AI Chat direct outcome is quick, helpful, and efficient. Dinner is served!

The Group Chat outcome is slower, also helpful, and less efficient. Indirect outcomes include strengthening of these relationships, opening channels of communication ("hey and I'm glad you texted because we've been meaning to reach out to get together..."), and likely a string of humorous stories, suggestions, memes, GIFs, etc. And also...dinner is served (a bit later but with some funny stories to go along with it).

Here's the thing: using AI works and you'll never know what you missed. That is what scares me--and it should scare all of us. Reaching out to humans can be uncomfortable, awkward, inefficient, and hilarious, heartwarming, and insightful.

Many years ago, during middle school, our daughter was diagnosed with an eating disorder. It was the most difficult thing she has ever been through. It ravaged our family and brought us to our knees in ways we never imagined possible. Because of our daughter's amazing strength, the help of a team of professionals, and an incredible community of friends and family, today she has fully recovered. Our family is closer than ever, strengthened by that traumatic time.

Many individuals and families facing the same diagnosis have come to my daughter and/or my wife for help and support.. Here's the question: should they just use AI to learn about eating disorders? Of course not. They need people, community, support, wisdom, compassion, stories, hope and encouragement. I am so proud of how my daughter and wife have walked with so many people through the painful process.

The late author and essayist Barry Lopez said something that will help us bring this home. His work traced the long history of what we might call community intelligence. Using music as our metaphor, if artificial intelligence is an algorithm analyzing the written score, community intelligence is the irreplaceable music of a live performance. When people face a crisis, like the young women and their families impacted by eating disorders, their souls' long for the music of community.

In his book Crow and Weasel Lopez writes, "The stories people tell have a way of taking care of them. If stories come to you, care for them. And learn to give them away where they are needed. Sometimes a person needs a story more than food to stay alive. That is why we put these stories in each other's memories. This is how people care for themselves."

We have arrived at our final principle: something is worth thinking about if it is worth bonding over, building community around, and, in short, if it's worth thinking about together.

Everything worthwhile is an uphill climb, a simple fact AI cannot change. This offers a clear heuristic: for the truly important decisions, the ones that require real struggle, the solution isn't an algorithm. It's a conversation. Put forth the effort but don't wrestle with it alone. Send that text. Call your friend, your sister, your mom. The ideas you gain will surprise you; the connection you forge will comfort you. You need both.